i’m so posh.

so last night at bartending class we learned….martinis.

and as i have mentioned before, my teach is a little weird. he has effectively made fun of me [not directly but i knew he was talking about me] every class. just because i was a sorority girl. and went to college. doesn’t mean you get to make fun of me. i should be making fun of him.

anyway, last night.

he says “people order martini’s these days just to look posh”

first things first. definition of ‘posh’ : elegantfashionable

so maybe i fit into the elegant category. i wouldn’t classify myself as fashionable. but i am pretty elegant. in a non british way.

so if i already fit in the ‘posh’ category i am allowed to order a posh drink. and not get judged for it. don’t you think?

ALSO, a dirty [vodka] martini is just DAMN good.

AND, it gets you drunk faster. law of physics. 2 oz. is more than your sorry 1 oz. if i am going to pay $12 for a good vodka, i want to actually feel it.

so i was thinking about my rules when i drink last night. i thought i would share them with you.

1. your outfit should always reflect the type of drink you are drinking.
example: you are cheering on your sports team with jeans and jersey. don’t drink a martini. drink beer. they just go together. if you are dressed up for a date, drink wine or a cocktail. OR a martini. OR a beer is appropriate. just don’t order a natty light. that wasn’t cool after you received your diploma.

2. if you are out to get drunk with all your friends, drink rail. it’s cheaper. the hangover will be a bitch but you can bet your bottom dollar you had a blast.

3. if you are out to get drunk with your sister [or bestie], drink martini’s or wine.

4. don’t EVER order a girly drink. [sorry if this offends you–but these are my rules] some drinks i have NEVER ordered. and would ask my friend to slap me if i did: blue hawaiian, cosmo, appletini, tequila sunrise, etc. maybe this is because i still am in the mindset that i drink when i am out to have a good time. i don’t want to drink my calories. let’s get serious.

so i created a nice little outfit montage for you. so sit back and enjoy. [pretty awesome i’d say]

you like how i added that song in there?? it’s one of my faves.

so what do you think? you agree with them?

9 Comment

  1. Um, one of the first times scott & i went to dinner he got a strawberry martini. I should have known then.

  2. ok #1, I'm laughing at the above comment. and #2, this is genius and your illustrations are fabulous!

  3. you're funny. I'm not feeling witty enough to even begin to come up with a response to all your w[h]it.

  4. LOVE this post! And you hit it spot on…I completely agree with each one of your rules. Well done, lady! XO

  5. Drink martinis and wine? I love wine, margaritas, martinis, every fruity drink! but I went out for drinks with the girls last week, I'd two martinis and that was it for me. I felt like the floor and ceiling were moving when I got up from the chair.

    my lesson? never change the "one glass rule"

    I am such a light drinker hehe

  6. um you are hilarious…although I will still order a cosmo on occasion but ONLY if I'm wearing a cocktail dress and heels…otherwise no-go. Love you bitch!

  7. HAHAHA I love this! I am that awful girl you'd want to slap because I would totally do a bear and be rocking some semi fancy wear to cheer on my team. lol

  8. you are correct sista! sorry i'm just now READING it.. love them.. and you of course!

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