i’m so posh.

so last night at bartending class we learned….martinis.

and as i have mentioned before, my teach is a little weird. he has effectively made fun of me [not directly but i knew he was talking about me] every class. just because i was a sorority girl. and went to college. doesn’t mean you get to make fun of me. i should be making fun of him.

anyway, last night.

he says “people order martini’s these days just to look posh”

first things first. definition of ‘posh’ : elegantfashionable

so maybe i fit into the elegant category. i wouldn’t classify myself as fashionable. but i am pretty elegant. in a non british way.

so if i already fit in the ‘posh’ category i am allowed to order a posh drink. and not get judged for it. don’t you think?

ALSO, a dirty [vodka] martini is just DAMN good.

AND, it gets you drunk faster. law of physics. 2 oz. is more than your sorry 1 oz. if i am going to pay $12 for a good vodka, i want to actually feel it.

so i was thinking about my rules when i drink last night. i thought i would share them with you.

1. your outfit should always reflect the type of drink you are drinking.
     
example: you are cheering on your sports team with jeans and jersey. don’t drink a martini. drink beer. they just go together. if you are dressed up for a date, drink wine or a cocktail. OR a martini. OR a beer is appropriate. just don’t order a natty light. that wasn’t cool after you received your diploma.

2. if you are out to get drunk with all your friends, drink rail. it’s cheaper. the hangover will be a bitch but you can bet your bottom dollar you had a blast.

3. if you are out to get drunk with your sister [or bestie], drink martini’s or wine.

4. don’t EVER order a girly drink. [sorry if this offends you–but these are my rules] some drinks i have NEVER ordered. and would ask my friend to slap me if i did: blue hawaiian, cosmo, appletini, tequila sunrise, etc. maybe this is because i still am in the mindset that i drink when i am out to have a good time. i don’t want to drink my calories. let’s get serious.

so i created a nice little outfit montage for you. so sit back and enjoy. [pretty awesome i’d say]

you like how i added that song in there?? it’s one of my faves.

so what do you think? you agree with them?

9 Comment

  1. Um, one of the first times scott & i went to dinner he got a strawberry martini. I should have known then.

  2. ok #1, I'm laughing at the above comment. and #2, this is genius and your illustrations are fabulous!

  3. you're funny. I'm not feeling witty enough to even begin to come up with a response to all your w[h]it.

  4. LOVE this post! And you hit it spot on…I completely agree with each one of your rules. Well done, lady! XO

  5. Drink martinis and wine? I love wine, margaritas, martinis, every fruity drink! but I went out for drinks with the girls last week, I'd two martinis and that was it for me. I felt like the floor and ceiling were moving when I got up from the chair.

    my lesson? never change the "one glass rule"

    I am such a light drinker hehe

  6. um you are hilarious…although I will still order a cosmo on occasion but ONLY if I'm wearing a cocktail dress and heels…otherwise no-go. Love you bitch!

  7. HAHAHA I love this! I am that awful girl you'd want to slap because I would totally do a bear and be rocking some semi fancy wear to cheer on my team. lol
    xx
    Z

  8. you are correct sista! sorry i'm just now READING it.. love them.. and you of course!

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