Scoop your eyeballs out.

So I used to have this blog where I would write about people I met on the bus and things that happened.

That was three years ago.

I quit writing because I started driving to work. And I couldn’t just make stuff up.

Yesterday was my first day back on public transportation.

But this time the metro.

It’s not nearly as entertaining. The people that ride it are mostly civilized. Whereas the bus was full of homeless. FULL.

But luckily for me and all the other ladies that ride this lovely mode of transpiration are protected. From harassment.

They are launching a new campaign.

They already have ‘if you see something, say something’ in effect to protect us from terrorists.

You’d think that’d be enough.

But no.

The new campaign is:

‘if you rub up against me…’

That’s all I heard on the news this morning.

So I know I’m gonna be safe. If only they could change it to ‘if you don’t stop staring at me then I’m gonna take this spoon out of my lunchbox and scoop your eyeballs out’

I think that’s more catchy. Don’t you?

Christin. I know you know what I’m talking about.

Now I just need you guys to email me playlists. Because Kelly Clarkson is a little outdated. you can send me mix tapes too.

8 Comment

  1. I DO know what you're talking about. And if I see something I won't say something because it's not terrorism. Like…really!? Ugh. It's retarded people.

  2. I know exactly what you mean too 🙂 But i think your slogan is much more effective. I mean, the imagery there is so strong – so potent!

    Also, have you heard of Ellie Goulding? I think you'd like her – she's great metro-listenin'!

  3. I feel like we're drifting…. Can we have a gchat soon. MISS YOU

  4. What kind of music do you listen to? I love riding on public transportation!! We don't have that here

  5. hahahahha i trhink you should open that blog back up. it sounds hilarious.

  6. i would actually disagree. i believe you CAN make stuff up. that said, i refuse to take public transport. i've been walking to work the last couple weeks, so i'm not just blowing smoke up your ass. either way, let's make sure to take the bus to the bar the next time we hang out…maybe we can get one more good public transpo post out of you yet.


  7. Ha! Public transit is the best! I used to use Muni everyday in San Francisco and my lord, that was like a trip to the zoo.

  8. I ride public trans 4 hrs every day, so I definitely know what you're talking about! People can be so creeptastic. Though it does make for some good blog material

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